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What depicts true masculinity? Many will default to the idea that masculinity is rough, brash or even obnoxious. Aggressive behaviour is sometimes blamed on testosterone and some men even think that masculinity involves having control over a woman or a family. But true masculinity is something that can be appreciated in husbands and fathers who care for their families with real strength and effort. This essay will compare what masculinity is not with what it should be, and then explore how it can be attained by men.

What masculinity is not

Aggressive behaviour among men should not be counted as true masculinity. Harming another person—whether emotionally or physically—shows weakness instead of strength. Men who feel they need to throw their weight around and be the authority in every situation only expose their emotional instabilities. Such men may receive surface respect, but it is not the kind of respect that is earned; rather it is forced.

Caring for his own

A true masculine man is someone who provides for his family. He is a caregiver to his wife and children and will sacrifice whatever he must to carry this out. But true masculinity goes further and also provides a legacy for his offspring. This involves being a teacher to his children and a source of guidance and support for his wife. A true man is a servant towards his wife—not a dictator. In all things, the masculine man protects his wife and children and provides a sense of security and stability in their lives.

Aiming testosterone in the right direction

So what do men from the second category know that the men from the first category do not? Testosterone is sometimes used to justify bad behaviour. Men claim that they need an outlet for all their “manly” tendencies and this can include sleeping around with multiple women, abusing someone, or simply avoiding their responsibilities for the sake of adventure. But real men always choose fulfilment over pleasure. They work hard to direct their testosterone in doing well instead of perpetuating destructive behaviour.

Masculinity should not have a bad connotation to it. It is a wonderful aspect of a man’s being—if it is utilized in the right manner. Men who feel they have something to prove only prove that they are insecure in their manliness and not capable of being a good protector, teacher or provider for their wife and children.